More "ancient" (high school) texts...

The Fifth Book of Michael called

Doxeyonomy

And there came on David out of the land of Sandy.

2 And Dee begat David.

3 And for the space of many days David did not know woman.

4 And it came to pass in the latter days of the third year that one came unto David.

5 For behold, Annie came to David saying;

6 Come David, I will give thee all.

7 And David did consent and stayed with Annie for the space of a few days.

8 And it came to pass the days grew long, and David pulled not his weight.

9 And Annie spake again unto David, saying:

10 Thus you have had your chance, and ye have pleased me not,

11 Therefore I will go to the ruler of the land of Bountiful, and he shall please me greatly.

12 And it came to pass that Annie did go unto Mayor Steven.

13 And David was sad.

Up next... The Epistle of Clarke to the Russellonians