REPORT: DUKE OF COOL MOVED TO 7TH AREA!
by Jon England
Insane amount of areas and a lack of fiber in daily diet leave his Royal Coolness flabbergasted and a bit sluggish.
Argentina - A phone call and a cry of "Sweet Fancy Moses" revealed that his Royal Coolness, Elder England, was on his way to his 7th area. When hearing the news, President "Coolidge" was reported as saying "I guess the members really did see me last Friday." In an interview that was held with himself in the shower not long after the call, The Town Cool was asked how he felt about the recent movement. He responded "It's like making the change from Dove face wash to Avon." When asked what that had to do with anything, The Golden Cool ended the interview by saying that too many questions would clog his pores.
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